Re-evaluate

Day's like today, when I attended the funeral of a lovely lass almost a decade younger me, and this time of year make you re-evaluate your life.

How many people would attend your funeral and be there cause they missed you, not because they felt they had a duty to be there.

How many people who you class as friends, are genuine friends and would miss you if you weren't around?

What if anything will you be remembered for doing? Will those memories be good ones or will you be remembered as being a nasty person not worth knowing?

When your answering these questions you must be totally honest with yourself. What others think is not relevant at this point.
We all have family and friends that will make the right noises and say the right things but are they true? Only you yourself can answer that.

Today I answered those questions about my life and ended not really liking the answer's. I'm not saying I'm a B*****d or an evil man. I have done more wrong in my life than right though and have hurt way to many people along the way.
If any of those I have hurt read this then I would like to apologise openly to them all.

It also makes me ask have I done enough during my life to find Ian & Lorna. Truthfully I'm not sure. I've started something's now that I could have started earlier. Would they have been effective back then? I don't know.

Maybe thinking like this today ain't such a good idea eh.

Lorna & Ian I miss you ever so much and wish you were here so I could see that you are ok and that your life has been good. Sorry for not being there to support you through the hard times in your life. I'd like to thank anyone that was there for you! You didn't have a great start in life I only hope it got much better afterwards.