new start1

This is proving to be a real struggle to get to grips with all the stuff I've learned recently.

Here is a beauty and one that has affected my entire life in all its facets.

As with the rest of these revelations this had a profound impact on me from such a young age and now it's difficult to try and change all those learned opinions. I have always believed that anyone who mattered in my life abandoned me ever since my mum died. I have always believed that my Aunt, Uncle and grandad had abandoned me and washed there hands of me after I was sent into care proper (ie the children's home in crossgates). I learned the other day that after I was sent to that home and then my foster parents that all of these relatives had continually asked me to go back tot theirs on holiday the 1st time was the Christmas directly after mum died, ie 4months after being placed with my foster parents. This was refused not by social services or any other professional but by those foster parents.

I believed that my Dad had abandoned me until I was near 15yr old. That again was untrue and again the decision to prevent this contact was taken by foster parents. Social workers all wanted that contact to go ahead.

As for my "Lost Family" the twins Ian and Lorna the social worker involved at the very beginning of all of this had wanted there to be regular consistent contact between myself, my younger brother and them. Once again the decision was taken by foster parents not a professional person.

I have been asking myself the same question's over and over why did these two people (actually it was one of them the other was always the subservient one in the relationship) have so much control? Why did social services not take the decision away from them?
The control they had over my life was extreme and should never have been allowed to continue at that level without some input from a professional person in the decision making.